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12 August 2006

Hot Pink Panty Auction, anyone????

A not-so-deep question for all you dirty late night male readers:

You know how they have vending machines in Japan that sell used panties? I wonder if there is a market for that in North America? Would men line up to buy my used panties? Would men in Japan find it a kick to buy the used panties of a tall girl from the midwest who likes to wear bright red lipstick and has Bettie Page bangs?

If so, I'm more than happy to sell 'em to you. Call me cheap, but I'm kind of poor at the moment.

Has anyone out there bought or sold anything off of Do you think it is degrading to sell your own used panties for a profit? Are there any sort of guidelines to selling your panties to people?

I'm curious. Leave a comment.

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Boobs, Breasts, Titties, Tits, Melons...

Currently, I'm going through boob envy. I don't know at what point this envy has reared it's ugly head, but it's here. Like a good paranoid and overanalytical girl I am, I am dissecting every possible reason for this feeling. Ah, I can never let feelings easily pass.

The thing is, I am feeling incredibly sexy lately. Sexy thoughts are running through my head. I'm sexually curious these past few days (or rather, the thoughts that have always been there are coming alive). My body feels good. I feel fun and sexy. Fun and sexy like sassy, put your hair up in pigtails and wear your best schoolgirl outfit and have an ass-slappin' good time fun and sexy. Fun and sexy like pull those pigtails and show me who's boss, teach this bad girl a lesson that's hard to swallow. Heh....I'm even working myself up just by writing this blog. Whew.

*insert greasy smile here*

My partner recently returned home from being on the road for two and a half weeks. Seems like nothing when you have 52 weeks to fuck with in a year, but believe me - it's tough. Especially when you overload on porn to kick off the time alone. He's gone tonight but returns tomorrow. I leave on Wednesday for two weeks. Time is running out! All I want is my hair pulled, my skin bitten, and my ass slapped. Show me that you love me - leave a playful mark!

Anyway, back to the boob envy. I'm feeling sexy and naughty lately. I'm liking my body, despite being a little fleshy in the middle section. My skin is clear. The days are bright and there's this very loving, honeymoon vibe that has surrounded us since my partner got home. I feel loved, I feel beautiful.

But what about my boobs? Is bigger better? Would I actually feel better mentally if they were bigger and bouncier? Would the attention I would garner be legit? After playing with them for a while, will I become bored?! Is this a symbol of my own insecurity?

Yes, of course it is. Life wouldn't be better with bigger titties. Sure, some guys (and hopefully some ladies) would selfishly agree. I'd probably get more stupid attention and a little less eye contact. I'd have to buy a new wardrobe. Am I falling into the ridiculous assumption that I would be more confident with bigger tits? Who knows, maybe I would be bizarrely more confident.

I'm a tall girl. I'm slender but not a walking stick figure. I have hips, I have a nice ass. I wouldn't complain at a little more boobage. Other than the obvious brains and nice smile bit, my best feature would be my long legs. Gams, or walking sticks, don't get enough credit. It's always the boobs that get objectified and maybe I'm in need of a little objectifying lately. Don't get me wrong, I'm very content with my legs. They're classy and no one can accuse them of being implants or plastic. I can pull off trashy garters and I can pull of fishnets with great success. But boobs ain't tumbling out of my shirt as I like them to! Tumble, dammit, tumble!

My boobs are a big insecurity. Not because they are small - because they are quite uneven. Yeah, yeah...I know it's completely normal. Many girls are uneven. None of my former partners nor my present (and very hot) partner have complained. However, I live with them. I contain them in a bra (almost) everyday. I see them attempt to jiggle in all those appropriate (and sometimes inappropriate!) moments. I'm the one who has to find an expensive bra to conceal this insecurity and try to create some harmony (AKA, even cleavage) between my breasts. I feel like I'm not all there, as far as my boobs are concerned. I'd be satisfied if they were both the same size - even though I'm sure this insecurity is simply obsessed on and personally exaggerated. I'm sure my boobies are just fine the way they are.

My partner is in a band. The singer loves to drunkenly coax the ladies into flashing their boobies for free swag. He takes pics of all the boobies on tour and proudly displays them on his MySpace and cellphone. Yes, I have my stupidly jealous-for-no-reason moments. I am learning to brush them aside. As I dissected my jealousy, I realized that secretly I want to be that wild girl who actually has the nerve to flash her titties. The only thing that holds me back has been this damned insecurity about my somewhat uneven boobs. I want to be objectified!!! I live in a city where NO ONE objectifies me! Well, no one under 60 and beyond my slum neighborhood. I want to catch someone looking at my small but reasonably proud amount of cleavage! I want someone to notice me cross my legs and find the subtly in that sexually appealing!

Even though it's the guys who are eyeing up the boobies, the women have always been worse in pointing out these kinds of natural flaws such as having uneven boobies. When I got my nipple pierced a long time ago, I had one of the most unnecessary embarrassing moments of my life. If you've ever had your nipple pierced, you know that you don't really feel like putting on a bra afterwards. I walked out of the piercing room, content at my new piercing and a little dizzy with my extra sensitive nipples. This woman was sitting in the waiting room, along with a few other people. She pointed at me and loudly barked, "I bet you got that one pierced". She pointed at the slightly bigger boob. I declined to tell her what I got pierced. Oh, but she went on and on and on. It was like a terrible Saturday Night Live sketch, where five minutes seems like eternity. The other people in the waiting room shuffled around nervously. I became uncomfortable and irritated as this chick was obsessed with my boobs! She kept calling out the fact that my breasts aren't "perfect". I felt smaller and smaller. The woman that pierced me finally shut her up by saying that it was none of her business and that no woman has perfect real breasts. All that embarrassment for a simple piercing. Dumb bitch.

Yeah, that was just one very obvious incident that added to the insecurity that has always been there. I used to be so insecure whenever a partner first saw me naked. Now, I'm comfortable. They may be a small handful but I have delicious looking nipples. Sure, I can't necessarily fill out a shirt to the point of button popping, but I won't have back problems when I grow up. I won't worry about saggage. I'm stuck with them - I have to learn to be happy because being miserable with yourself isn't sexy and doesn't help you out in the bedroom.

Besides, I got me some long gams to wrap around my man.

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04 August 2006

Friday's Ferocious Female - Marlene Dietrich

I love Marlene Dietrich for many reasons. I think what struck me most about her was her fantastic sense of style and her marvellous eyebrows. Being a fan of makeup artistry and striking eyebrows, she completely appealed to me. Once upon a time, I worked at a hair salon. One of my co-workers was a fantastically gay man named Gerard. He used to say to his clients, "I am an artist and this is the way I chose to express myself!" He loved Marlene and gave me a cassette of her music. I never heard her before and I was blown away. Yes, it was a bit kitschy but I loved how luscious and glamourous it felt to listen to it. It brought me back to another time. A time of smoky cabarets and lush sexuality.

Here's a long blurb from Wikipedia about the fabulous life of Marlene Dietrich.

Born Marie Magdalene Dietrich or Maria Magdalena Dietrich in
Berlin-Schöneberg, Germany to Louis Erich Otto Dietrich and Wilhelmina Elisabeth Josephine Felsing, she was after her adoption by her father-in-law named Maria Magdalena von Losch. She changed her first name to Marlene when she was 11. Marlene played the violin before joining Max Reinhardt's acting school in 1921, making her official film debut two years later (although historians insist that Dietrich actually appeared as an extra in a 1919 German film).

After acting in only German movies at first (while also dancing as a chorus girl in cabarets and in stage plays), she got her first role in the first European talking picture,
The Blue Angel (1930), directed by Josef von Sternberg.

She then moved to
Hollywood to make Morocco, for which she received her only Oscar nomination. Her most lasting contribution to film history was as the star in several films directed by von Sternberg in the pre-Code early 1930s, such as The Scarlet Empress and Shanghai Express, in which she played "femmes fatales". She gradually broadened her repertoire in Destry Rides Again, The Spoilers, A Foreign Affair, Witness for the Prosecution, Touch of Evil and Judgment at Nuremberg.

Dietrich sang in several of her films (most famously in von Sternberg's
The Blue Angel, in which she sings "Falling In Love Again"("Ich bin von Kopf bis Fuss auf Liebe eingestellt"), having made records in Germany in the 1920s. Following a slowdown in her film career, she made a number of records first for Decca, Elektrola, EMI, and for Columbia. Her distinctive voice was later satirized, along with that of Lotte Lenya, in the song Lieder by cult British trio Fascinating Aïda. Madeline Kahn did the same in the Mel Brooks classic Blazing Saddles.

In 1937, while her film career stalled in Hollywood, she made a film in London, and became an American citizen. In later interviews, she claimed that while in London to film
Knight Without Armour (1937) she was approached by representatives of the Nazi party to return to Germany, but turned them down flat. Her US film career was revived with the Western Destry Rides Again (1939) costarring James Stewart, and featuring a famous fistfight with the character played by actress Una Merkel.

In 1941 the U.S. entered the
Second World War and Dietrich became one of the first celebrities to raise war bonds. She entertained troops on the front lines in a USO revue that included future TV pioneer Danny Thomas as her opening act. Dietrich was known to have strong political convictions and the mind to speak them. Like many Weimar era German entertainers, she was a staunch anti-Nazi who despised anti-Semitic policies of National Socialism.
Her singing helped on the homefront of the
U.S.A too, as she recorded a number of anti-Nazi records in German for the OSS, including Lili Marleen, a curious example of a song transcending the hatreds of war. She also played the musical saw to entertain troops. She sang for the Allied troops on the front lines in Algiers, France and into Germany with Generals James M. Gavin and George S. Patton. When asked why she had done this, in spite of the obvious danger of being within a few kilometers of German lines, she famously replied "aus Anstand" – "it was the decent thing to do".

Unlike her professional celebrity, which was carefully crafted and maintained, Dietrich's personal life was kept out of public view. She married once, to director's assistant
Rudolf Sieber, a Roman Catholic who later became a director at Paramount Pictures in France.

Her only child, Maria Elizabeth Sieber (married name Maria Riva), was born on
December 13, 1924. When Maria Riva gave birth to a son in 1948, Dietrich was dubbed "the world's most glamorous grandmother". The great love of the actress's life, however, was the French actor and military hero Jean Gabin. As for her husband, he had a tragically unstable longterm mistress who looked a bit like and eventually believed herself to be Dietrich.

Despite all of this, she was reportedly offered a king's ransom to return to Germany, due to her immense popularity as well as Hitler's ardour, which she declined. It is true that she quipped that she would return only when one of her Jewish friends (possibly
Max Reinhardt) could accompany her.

Her return to Germany in 1960 was met with protests, (including a pelting with tomatoes and eggs) by some Germans, many feeling betrayed by her actions during WWII, but was on the other hand also warmly welcomed by many Germans. When hearing the chants, "Marlene go home", Dietrich was quoted as saying, "I guess they have a love-hate feeling for me." She also undertook a tour of
Israel around the same time, which was well-received; she sang some songs in German during her concerts, thus breaking the unofficial taboo against the use of German in Israel.

In later years it has also been indicated that she was bisexual, and involved in romantic affairs with actresses
Greta Garbo, Joan Crawford, Claudette Colbert and Ona Munson, among others. Dietrich was also involved with Joseph P. Kennedy and future President John F. Kennedy.

From the 1950s to the mid-1970s Dietrich toured internationally as a successful cabaret performer. Her repertoire included songs from her films as well as popular songs of the day. Until the mid-1960s her musical director was famed composer
Burt Bacharach.

His arrangements helped to disguise Dietrich's limited vocal range and allowed her to perform her songs to maximum dramatic effect. Spectacular costumes (by
Jean Louis), body-sculpting rubber undergarments, careful stage lighting, tight dresses into which she was sewn standing up, and, reportedly, gruesome mini-facelifts (achieved by weaving her hair into tight braids, pinning them tightly to her scalp with surgical needles, and then topping it all with sexy wigs) helped to preserve Dietrich's glamorous image well into old age.

In 1968, she received a
Tony Award for her stage show. In 1973, her stage show was broadcast on television.

Her show business career largely ended on
September 29, 1975, when she broke her leg during a stage performance. She appeared briefly in the film, Just a Gigolo, in 1979, and wrote and contributed to several books during the 1980s.

She spent her last decade mostly bed-ridden, in her apartment on the avenue Montaigne in
Paris, during which time she was not seen in public but was a prolific letter-writer and phone-caller. Maximilian Schell persuaded Dietrich to be interviewed for his 1984 documentary Marlene, but she did not appear on screen. She was somewhat estranged from her daughter, but got on well with her grandson, Peter Riva. Her own husband, Rudolf Sieber, had died of cancer on June 24, 1976.

In an interview with the German magazine
Der Spiegel in November 2005, her daughter and grandson claim that Marlene Dietrich was politically "active" during these years. She would keep contact with world leaders by telephone, running up a monthly bill of over 3,000 (USD). Her contacts included Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev, though whether she had any influence on them is unknown.

Dietrich died peacefully of natural causes
May 6, 1992, at the age of 90 in Paris, France. A service was conducted at La Madeleine in Paris before 3,500 mourners and a crowd of well-wishers outside. Her body, covered with an American flag, was then returned to Berlin where she was interred at the Städtischer Friedhof III, Berlin-Schöneberg, Stubenrauchstraße 43-45, in Friedenau Cemetery, not far from the house where she was born.

In 1994 her memorabilia were sold to the Stiftung Deutsche Kinemathek (after US institutions showed no interest) where it became the core of the exhibition(see
[1]) at the Sony Center on Potsdamer Platz, Berlin, Germany, which is not far away from the square named Marlene-Dietrich-Platz in her honour on November 8, 1997.

Dietrich never integrated into the Hollywood entertainment industry, being always an outsider for mainstream America. Her heavy German accent gave an extra touch to her performance but made her look "foreign" in the eyes of Americans.

Dietrich was a fashion icon to the top designers as well as a screen icon whom later stars would follow. Her public image and some of her movies included strong sexual undertones, including

Intriguingly, as the writer
Tony Barrell has pointed out (London Sunday Times, January 1, 2006), Dietrich was born on exactly the same day as another famous actress, Irene Handl. Though they played very different parts, both were educated at all-girls schools and had connections with Noël Coward.

Five Reasons to Like Marlene Dietrich:
1) She was a strong German woman who went against her country - she was very anti-Nazi. This caused the majority of her country to backlash against her.
2) She was one of the first Hollywood celebrities to raise war bonds.
3) Okay, she had absolutely stunning eyebrows and a beautiful sense of style.
4) Her smoky songs sang in a thick German accent make any woman and/or gay man swoon!
5) If she was truly bisexual and I was there back in those days, I would love to be romanced by the one and only Marlene Dietrich - who would pass up that offer!


03 August 2006

In Love, At Home

Late Monday night, my partner returned home! Good grief, what a lengthy time apart! Needless to say, I am glad that he is around again.

I was on pins and needles all night. It felt like we were dating again and it was all shiny new. I got all prettied up, even though he was scheduled to arrive in the middle of the night. I didn't care. I just wanted him to see me again, looking fresh and dolled up even though the first thing he wanted to do was take a shower with me. So, at least he saw me dolled up for a good fifteen minutes!

He came home, tired and furry-faced. I kept staring at him, as though I have never seen him before. What a handsome man, he takes my breath away even after three years! We talked for a bit and got him settled in. It was nice to sit and talk with him - and not just over the telephone. Damn, did I ever miss him.

Clearly, he missed me too. We showered together and there were plenty of passionate kisses between us. Even though being apart sucks big time, time apart is often good. It helps you realize that all those little aggravations that come with living with someone are just little meaningless things. You appreciate your partner, with a little time off and space. You are more grateful to have that person in your life. I think it benefited me to have a long distance relationship with him. I like to think that I never take him forgranted, though I'm certain that we all do in some way and at some time or another. I remember how much it sucked to live in two different cities. It wasn't easy but it taught us to value one another and enjoy each other. Even with the simple things, like holding your lover's hand. We certainly enjoyed one another the night he came back from tour. Wink, wink. Knudge, knudge.

I'm glad to say that he won. Aunt Flow lost the race! Yippee! For once, my body worked with me and not against me! We got in some time to get "reacquainted" and the next day I got my period. At least I got a little action before I was stricken with "the curse". Speaking of action, last night we put on some doowop and kissed. I find that kind of music especially fun to make out to. It makes me feel all fuzzy romantic inside. It makes me dizzy and want to kiss and be kissed. Drunk with love - Le sigh!

Yes, everything feels great and back to normal. We've been talking a lot and enjoying each other's company. We have been eating bowls of ice cream between kisses. I mentioned how one day I would like to be called his wife and he didn't run away with sheer terror. Okay, actually I asked to be called his Wife-o. Haha...I love words with an O at the end of them.

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